Suffering is a difficult thing for us to understand, especially when it happens to ourselves or to a loved one. How's that for an understatement? It doesn't help that the suffering and the heartache that surrounds it are compounded by confusion over how this could happen in the first place --- especially if the one suffering is counted a 'good person.' Some would say a powerful and loving God would not let that happen. Some would call it a lack of faith.
What those who are suffering need is encouragement and support. They don't need lessons, they need hugs (Rom. 12:15). Lessons and growth will come, but there is a time for that. Let us not be Job's 'friends'. Those who are suffering need to know that God loves them and that we love them. Period.
For those on the sidelines, who while deeply affected are not themselves in the midst of suffering, there is an opportunity to grow. Our confusion and heartache opens us up to hear God's word as we seek answers for how these things can happen to the good people we love. And as we wrestle with these things and learn to see them as God sees them, we will not only be better equipped to handle them ourselves, but also to encourage others as they encounter the hard times of life.
Sadly, there is a lot of really bad teaching on the subject that is as unbiblical as it is ultimately unhelpful, teaching that may provide a temporary salve but fail to offer true hope. As we wrestle with these things, let us be sure we are on solid biblical footing (Eph. 4:11--16; Matt. 7:24--27).
To that end, let me recommend a few excellent resources that help us understand the role of suffering in the Christian life from a biblical perspective. These resources are from John Piper, pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church. He has spoken and written much on the topic. Not only can he say these things better than I can, but he speaks and writes with the authority and perspective of one who has himself battled cancer.
There are many more resources on Suffering at the Desiring God Website, but these are a good start. Note that reading Piper can be a lot like reading Paul, not because Piper is an apostle, but because his writing can be at times complex and theologically dense. That is a good thing, but it's not always a light read. I would recommend starting with the articles and moving your way up as you see fit.
I pray that these resources would help us to better understand the suffering we encounter even as we walk with Christ, that we would use these times to grow closer to him, and that in seeing suffering the way he sees it we would demonstrate his glory both in how we handle suffering ourselves and in how we respond to it in others.
Press on!
Greg